Arrogance, superiority, pretentiousness—whatever name you give it, some people genuinely believe they’re above others and don’t hesitate to show it. When you encounter this kind of behavior, there are practical ways to respond and maintain your composure while managing relationships with people who carry that attitude.
1. Set boundaries.
Boundaries safeguard your mental and emotional well-being, but how you uphold them is just as important. The most effective approach is to remain courteous yet assertive. Reacting with anger only gives the other person leverage—they can use your outburst to paint you as irrational and turn others against you. By staying polite, you take away their opportunity to do so.
2. Stay confident in yourself.
People who believe they’re superior often try to elevate themselves by putting others down. This behavior can be painful, leaving you feeling small or inadequate. Stay centered and don’t let someone else’s actions define your self-worth. Remind yourself of your own strengths and talents to maintain confidence. If you allow their words to diminish you, you risk withdrawing inward — which only makes it easier for them to push you down further.
3. Don’t take it personally.
A superiority complex is a reflection of their insecurities, not your value. Secure people don’t put others down, they lift other people up because they know they are valuable people. The way other people treat you is often a mirror reflection of themselves. How do you not take it personally, though? It’s easier said than done, but focus on the fact that they wouldn’t behave the way they are if they were happy and secure with themselves.
4. Respond with empathy.
Empathy means stepping into someone else’s shoes to understand their feelings and perspective. It doesn’t mean you have to tolerate mistreatment or excuse poor behavior. Rather, it’s about recognizing what might be driving their actions — what kind of experiences or pain could lead someone to act that way. Such insecurity rarely comes from a healthy place; it’s often rooted in deep hurt or trauma. While that doesn’t justify their behavior, understanding it can help you stay calm and centered when dealing with them.
5. Lean into their behavior.
It’s important not to try to one-up them. If you do, you’re escalating the situation which will cause them to escalate. They’ll double-down and you’ll have an even bigger headache to deal with. Instead of shoving back, try leaning into it instead. A good way to lean in is by asking their opinion on something or utilizing some of their good ideas where you can, then praising them for it. In many cases, it can’t be about winning because you can’t win.
6. Be direct when necessary.
Stay direct, fact-oriented, and to the point. The more direct you are, the less material they have to use against you. Furthermore, facts are powerful because it’s much harder to dispute them, particularly if you won’t argue semantics with them. In many cases, they will try to argue around the facts or your point to prove you wrong and elevate themselves in the situation. Bring them back to the point, and make sure they stay on topic.
7. Don’t compete.
Try not to engage in direct competition with this type of person whenever you can avoid it. They’re likely to escalate things and take them much further than you would, since their actions often stem from insecurity rather than reason. Instead, stay focused on your own goals and stand up for yourself when necessary. Individuals who believe they’re superior may attempt to claim credit for your hard work — don’t allow that to happen.
8. Use humor.
A lighthearted comment can diffuse tension and disarm arrogance by preventing a situation from escalating. It’s a common technique that works so well because it pulls a train of thought from anger and combativeness to interpreting the humor. They may not laugh or engage, but the important thing is that the humor disrupts the escalation going on in their head.
9. Lean on supportive people.
You might encounter situations where you feel drained, often in a work environment. This can happen when you’re forced to spend excessive time around someone who tries to diminish you to boost themselves. Having supportive people around can help keep you grounded and encouraged, especially when your mental health, life challenges, or negative individuals threaten to pull you down.
10. Walk away.
Sometimes, the only solution is to walk away from the situation. Of course, there are situations where you can’t just do that. There may be a familial connection that you can’t break or a job that you can’t just leave. In that case, if the person’s attitude continues to harm your well-being, you may have to limit your actions or distance yourself from that person. The “gray rock” method is to make yourself unnoticeable and as disengaged as a gray rock by not engaging. It works.